I am writing to you dear blog from a teal couch in the living room of my friend Emily Johnson's apartment. I currently have 3 fans blowing on me and am scandalously clad in skimpy clothing. It's bloody hot here. What the crap. Both Emily and I don't even know what to do because we're so hot. So I decided to post a blog about how hot I am, which if you haven't guessed already, is really really hot.
I guess we are going swimming now. Heck yes. This blog is pointless. :P Sorry.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Friday, May 21, 2010
Almost half-way
Day 15 of being at home. Only 19 more days to go until I leave for Camp. The last 15 days have been stressful, not gunna lie. I've endured a lot of crap, put up with some ridiculous stuff and things just keep getting worse despite the whole "Giving it to God" kind of thing. Maybe i'm doing it all wrong. Or maybe this is just one of these times where God is challenging me. I seem to feel as though it might be the latter. I can totally picture God asking me, "if I take it all away, will you still follow me?" Because it's God. And He does that kind of thing. So...if that IS the question, what would my answer be? After doing some thinking and really looking at what I would do, I decided that yeah, I will still follow Him. He can take away everything, but He will still be there. Proving that He is really all I need in the end. And it's going to be okay. So God, if that was the realization you wanted me to get from all this, then I got it. Now could you please work on my current school issues?
Anyway, going back to home and stressfulness and just life in general. Being home made me realize many many things. I think the past school year I had gained a lot of independence, grown spiritually, my self-esteem was much better and I was a much happier person. I learned that I cannot live at home anymore. I learned that if you put me back into a situation where I feel oppressed and not independent, but feeling stuck instead, that everything that i've learned and felt in the past year at school will leave you more quicker than it took to get it. I feel like the past paragraph was not worded well, but I hope you get the point. I'm back to the beginning, where I was just a year ago. I'm not happy, my self-esteem sucks, I feel trapped and my spiritual life is suffering. I spend countless hours on facebook and online chatting to friends and playing games to get away from it all and to help ease the pain. It's summer, and that's pathetic. I had such high hopes for summer, and...it's not happening. Many friends have told me to just leave. I'm 22 years old, I don't need to listen to anybody. Easier said than done. Like I said, I feel trapped. I don't see a way out, even if you do. There's a lot of risk involved, and let's face it. Me and risk, we don't get along.
School has me currently frustrated/angry/upset/miserable. I am trying to figure everything out, and if I even will be going to school in the fall. Tomorrow, I'm going with my friend Emily back to St. Cloud to work some things out and hopefully just make everything okay again. I'm just really sick of everything that's going on, and asking people to pray for me, and I had a friend tell me that she's sick of having to pray for me. She didn't really mean it in a harsh way, she just meant that she wishes she could personally do something for me. But yeah, i'm sick of it. Have I mentioned there are 19 days before camp? Yeah. I cannot wait. I know that I NEED camp, even more than camp needs me. It's really amazing, I think I learn more there than anywhere else. I grow more there, and can be myself, and be happy. I have some friends who like to poke fun of Camp and how I seem to worship it. But if they only understood what it does and means to me, then maybe they could understand why I'm so excited and why I talk about it a lot. That being said, i'm looking forward to the rest of this summer and getting back on track with God and all that I had last year at school. 19 more days of hell. The rest of the summer will be bliss.
Anyway, going back to home and stressfulness and just life in general. Being home made me realize many many things. I think the past school year I had gained a lot of independence, grown spiritually, my self-esteem was much better and I was a much happier person. I learned that I cannot live at home anymore. I learned that if you put me back into a situation where I feel oppressed and not independent, but feeling stuck instead, that everything that i've learned and felt in the past year at school will leave you more quicker than it took to get it. I feel like the past paragraph was not worded well, but I hope you get the point. I'm back to the beginning, where I was just a year ago. I'm not happy, my self-esteem sucks, I feel trapped and my spiritual life is suffering. I spend countless hours on facebook and online chatting to friends and playing games to get away from it all and to help ease the pain. It's summer, and that's pathetic. I had such high hopes for summer, and...it's not happening. Many friends have told me to just leave. I'm 22 years old, I don't need to listen to anybody. Easier said than done. Like I said, I feel trapped. I don't see a way out, even if you do. There's a lot of risk involved, and let's face it. Me and risk, we don't get along.
School has me currently frustrated/angry/upset/miserable. I am trying to figure everything out, and if I even will be going to school in the fall. Tomorrow, I'm going with my friend Emily back to St. Cloud to work some things out and hopefully just make everything okay again. I'm just really sick of everything that's going on, and asking people to pray for me, and I had a friend tell me that she's sick of having to pray for me. She didn't really mean it in a harsh way, she just meant that she wishes she could personally do something for me. But yeah, i'm sick of it. Have I mentioned there are 19 days before camp? Yeah. I cannot wait. I know that I NEED camp, even more than camp needs me. It's really amazing, I think I learn more there than anywhere else. I grow more there, and can be myself, and be happy. I have some friends who like to poke fun of Camp and how I seem to worship it. But if they only understood what it does and means to me, then maybe they could understand why I'm so excited and why I talk about it a lot. That being said, i'm looking forward to the rest of this summer and getting back on track with God and all that I had last year at school. 19 more days of hell. The rest of the summer will be bliss.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Instructions on how to be Gothic.
Inspired by a very recent conversation with Betsy (when I say very recent, I mean, i'm still having this conversation as I type) here is instructions on how to be Gothic, if you ever wondered how:
Potato little dove says:
Dude.
There's no way to "be" gothic unless you dress that way.
And listen to the Cure and pretend to be sardonic.
Just wear your choir dress.
That's pretty goth
Mindy says:
ROFL
no it's not
Potato little dove says:
Yeah it is.
I just said "Yaaahhhh" out loud in response to you
on accident
Mindy says:
ROFL
Potato little dove says:
THAT'S HOW STRONGLY I FEEL ABOUT THIS.
Mindy says:
i do that a lot
haha
how is it gothic?
Potato little dove says:
Dude
Mindy says:
just because its all black?
Potato little dove says:
NO.
Because it's like
VELVET
That's the most gothic fabric there is
and it's also nasty lacey shit
= gothic
You should get a pair of really high platform shoes
that are like
super nasty and chunky
Well, there you have it folks. In a nutshell, wear really high, chunky, nasty platform shoes, black velvet and nasty lacey shit, listen to Cure and pretend to be Sardonic and you might be Gothic.
If you're wondering how this conversation came to be, it's because my newest profile picture looks Gothic to some people. It really isn't.
Potato little dove says:
Dude.
There's no way to "be" gothic unless you dress that way.
And listen to the Cure and pretend to be sardonic.
Just wear your choir dress.
That's pretty goth
Mindy says:
ROFL
no it's not
Potato little dove says:
Yeah it is.
I just said "Yaaahhhh" out loud in response to you
on accident
Mindy says:
ROFL
Potato little dove says:
THAT'S HOW STRONGLY I FEEL ABOUT THIS.
Mindy says:
i do that a lot
haha
how is it gothic?
Potato little dove says:
Dude
Mindy says:
just because its all black?
Potato little dove says:
NO.
Because it's like
VELVET
That's the most gothic fabric there is
and it's also nasty lacey shit
= gothic
You should get a pair of really high platform shoes
that are like
super nasty and chunky
Well, there you have it folks. In a nutshell, wear really high, chunky, nasty platform shoes, black velvet and nasty lacey shit, listen to Cure and pretend to be Sardonic and you might be Gothic.
If you're wondering how this conversation came to be, it's because my newest profile picture looks Gothic to some people. It really isn't.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Let the Waters Rise
Let the Waters Rise
Don't know where to begin
It's like my world's caving in
And I tried but i can't control my fear
Where do I go from here
Sometimes it's so hard to pray
You feel so far away
I am willing to go where You want me to
God I trust You
[Chorus]
There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If you want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will swim in the deep
Cuz You'll be next to me
You're in the eye of the storm and the calm of the sea
You're never out of reach
God You know where I've been
You were there with me then
You were faithful before
You'll be faithful again
I'm holding Your hand
[Chorus]
God Your love is enough
You will pull me through
I'm holding on to You
God your love is enough
I will follow You
I will follow You
[Chorus]
Don't know where to begin
It's like my world's caving in
And I tried but i can't control my fear
Where do I go from here
Sometimes it's so hard to pray
You feel so far away
I am willing to go where You want me to
God I trust You
[Chorus]
There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If you want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will swim in the deep
Cuz You'll be next to me
You're in the eye of the storm and the calm of the sea
You're never out of reach
God You know where I've been
You were there with me then
You were faithful before
You'll be faithful again
I'm holding Your hand
[Chorus]
God Your love is enough
You will pull me through
I'm holding on to You
God your love is enough
I will follow You
I will follow You
[Chorus]
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Broken
Broken- Lindsey Haun
Wake up to a sunny day, not a cloud up in the sky
Then it starts to rain, my defenses hit the ground
And they shatter all around, so open and exposed
I found strength in the struggle
Face to face with my trouble
When you're broken in a million little pieces
And you're trying but you can't hold on anymore
Every tear falls down for a reason
Don't you stop believing in yourself
When you're broken
Little girl don't be so blue
I know what you're going through
Don't let it beat you up
Hitting walls and getting scars
Only makes you who you are
Only makes you who you are
No matter how much your heart is aching
There is beauty in the breaking
Yeah
When you're broken in a million little pieces
And you're trying but you can't hold on anymore
Every tear falls down for a reason
Don't you stop believing in yourself
When you're broken
Better days are gonna find you once again
Every piece will find its place
When you're broken, when you're broken
When you're broken in a million little pieces
And you're trying but you can't hold on anymore
Every tear falls down for a reason
Don't you stop believing in yourself
When you're broken
Oh, when you're broken
When you're broken
When you're broken
Wake up to a sunny day, not a cloud up in the sky
Then it starts to rain, my defenses hit the ground
And they shatter all around, so open and exposed
I found strength in the struggle
Face to face with my trouble
When you're broken in a million little pieces
And you're trying but you can't hold on anymore
Every tear falls down for a reason
Don't you stop believing in yourself
When you're broken
Little girl don't be so blue
I know what you're going through
Don't let it beat you up
Hitting walls and getting scars
Only makes you who you are
Only makes you who you are
No matter how much your heart is aching
There is beauty in the breaking
Yeah
When you're broken in a million little pieces
And you're trying but you can't hold on anymore
Every tear falls down for a reason
Don't you stop believing in yourself
When you're broken
Better days are gonna find you once again
Every piece will find its place
When you're broken, when you're broken
When you're broken in a million little pieces
And you're trying but you can't hold on anymore
Every tear falls down for a reason
Don't you stop believing in yourself
When you're broken
Oh, when you're broken
When you're broken
When you're broken
Sunday, April 4, 2010
A Fun Night. XD.
Today felt like last year, kind of. It was nice. :)
Home was alright, I basically just hung out at home and did whatever. After Betsy and Kayla got off work, Betsy, Kayla, Nick and I went to Betsy's house to play games and hang out. It is important to know that Kayla and I haven't hung out together in like a year or something like that because of some stuff. But we've been talking lately and things are okay. Anyway, we all started off playing the game of life. I learned it's important to get those stock cards. Because I didn't get any. And I was poor the entire game. Also, I guess it is kinda important to go to college. Oh well.
Next we played apples to apples. Which is hilariously fun each and every time we play it. Betsy and I kind of formed an alliance against Nick. I'm sad the "Magical" "Baked Potato" and "Hellen Keller" cards didn't show up though.
Nick had a 1 am curfew, so we took him home and Kayla left. Betsy and I continued to hang out. We drove around town a bit. Contemplated going to Denny's which would have been a 20 minute drive to North Branch and we decided we should save money and not go. So we drove to "New Jersey" which is this part of Pine City that Betsy thinks looks like New Jersey. I've never been to the state, but she has, so i'll take her word for it. Basically it's this road that loops around the lake and it has a lot of tree's and mail boxes and stuff. It's kinda sweet. A little scary at night though.
After that we went to walmart to look around and then drove to the back of the thrift store because we saw an abandoned chair there. We posed with it and also at A&W. And then we called it a night.
It was a pretty fun day, we used to do this kind of stuff all the time. I missed it a lot. I kind of wish we had another day to do more stuff like that, but alas, it's technically sunday (Happy Easter!) and Betsy and I go back to school tomorrow...
Home was alright, I basically just hung out at home and did whatever. After Betsy and Kayla got off work, Betsy, Kayla, Nick and I went to Betsy's house to play games and hang out. It is important to know that Kayla and I haven't hung out together in like a year or something like that because of some stuff. But we've been talking lately and things are okay. Anyway, we all started off playing the game of life. I learned it's important to get those stock cards. Because I didn't get any. And I was poor the entire game. Also, I guess it is kinda important to go to college. Oh well.
Next we played apples to apples. Which is hilariously fun each and every time we play it. Betsy and I kind of formed an alliance against Nick. I'm sad the "Magical" "Baked Potato" and "Hellen Keller" cards didn't show up though.
Nick had a 1 am curfew, so we took him home and Kayla left. Betsy and I continued to hang out. We drove around town a bit. Contemplated going to Denny's which would have been a 20 minute drive to North Branch and we decided we should save money and not go. So we drove to "New Jersey" which is this part of Pine City that Betsy thinks looks like New Jersey. I've never been to the state, but she has, so i'll take her word for it. Basically it's this road that loops around the lake and it has a lot of tree's and mail boxes and stuff. It's kinda sweet. A little scary at night though.
After that we went to walmart to look around and then drove to the back of the thrift store because we saw an abandoned chair there. We posed with it and also at A&W. And then we called it a night.
It was a pretty fun day, we used to do this kind of stuff all the time. I missed it a lot. I kind of wish we had another day to do more stuff like that, but alas, it's technically sunday (Happy Easter!) and Betsy and I go back to school tomorrow...
Saturday, April 3, 2010
0_0
I just brushed my hair today for the first time in two days.
Some might think that's disgusting. I think that it is liberating.
I should become a hippie.
Why is this important to know, you might ask?
Well, it is important because I normally brush my hair every day. Multiple times a day. I would never think to NOT brush it. But perhaps since I think my hair is disgusting now that it's dark, I don't really want to think about it...hmm...that could be why. But either way man, it's kinda nice to not fuss with it every day. :)
Some might think that's disgusting. I think that it is liberating.
I should become a hippie.
Why is this important to know, you might ask?
Well, it is important because I normally brush my hair every day. Multiple times a day. I would never think to NOT brush it. But perhaps since I think my hair is disgusting now that it's dark, I don't really want to think about it...hmm...that could be why. But either way man, it's kinda nice to not fuss with it every day. :)
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